You may have already noticed the visual updates to the blog but I thought I should post about the title change and thoughts of what I hope this blog will morph into.
Previously this blog was focused exclusively on cooking. I love writing and sharing about those kinds of posts and everything food! Good news is those will still be found here moving forward.
But life looks so different for me right now. And I keep having an itch to write about how things are changing. I need a new space to process.
I told my husband recently that I have always thought I would write a book one day. I once thought I would write about singleness because it was something I had a lot to talk about and I really felt like I wanted to encourage other women who were in similar places. I even dove in a bit, coming up with a mini outline with chapter titles.
Funny enough it wasn’t long after beginning that I met my husband. At that point there was a shift in perspective and off I went, into a new adventure. The book idea kind of flopped after that.
But I actually think that meeting David was the beginning of this novice season of life.
Novice season 1….I had never had a boyfriend before and while I prided myself on having learned a lot through the years watching others in their relationships, I was an idiot to think I would be great at it the first time around. Dating relationships are mirrors that show you your heart and mess and that’s just not fun if you’ve never done that before in a relationship…or ever…for that matter! That was the season of being a novice at dating relationships.
Novice season 2….The same time I met David I was starting a second master’s program in soul care and spiritual formation at Biola University’s Institute of Spiritual Formation (ISF). ISF is a very inwardly rigorous program that really stretches your walk with God among other things.
I had weeks where I was exhausted because I was tired of praying about stuff, writing about my life and feeling messy and broken all the time. There was a lot of beauty in it, but gosh was it hard. That was the season of being a novice at growth.
Novice season 3…Fast forward 3 years through the newness of those two things (to which I still feel VERY new), and you find me in my present state…a very new wife, a very new mother and a very new spiritual director. Everything has happened so fast this past year that I am still catching my breath from it all. It all…meaning….beginning/completing my training to be a spiritual director, getting married, finding out we’re pregnant 3 months in, walking through a pregnancy in our first year of marriage, celebrating our first anniversary, meeting our Ellie Grace 1 week after, now having a 3 month old, still being a newlywed, just starting my journey as a fully trained spiritual director and now taking on the identity of being a stay at home mom. This is the season of being a novice at…well….life!
I’m coming to realize that I feel like a beginner all the time. ALL. THE. TIME. And that goes strongly against my desire to NOT be a beginner but rather a competent expert in what I do every day. I like being able to help people and there’s something in me that thinks I can’t help people if I don’t have some authority on a topic. And to be an authority in my brain seems to mean I need to master my life roles so others might feel like I’m not just blowing hot air. It would be nice if people felt comfortable enough to trust me as someone who has been where they are and hopefully become and encourager as a fellow traveler along the way.
It’s kind of a goofy way to think about authority because there’s always going to be more to learn. There’s always more to know. There’s always more to achieve. There’s always spaces we can grow. Our work in this life, both externally and internally, will never really come to an end until the day we take our last breath.
Yet that doesn’t downplay our ability to help, and encourage, and support those who are walking through spaces and places that we’ve journeyed through ourselves even if it’s just a few steps before them. I actually think it’s really important and noble work to offer your experiences to others when they are discouraged (and…let’s be real…WANT your input because if they don’t you’re just going to be annoying!) and in need of some rallying, perspective and wisdom from someone who has come out on the other side.
All that to say…I am updating this blog so that it can cover more than just the novice status of cook. I need a space to write and vent about all the other places I feel like a beginner and I hope others feel welcome to chime in along the way too!
So here we go. New blog. New title. New journey.
Cheers to this novice life!